Love and Supoort

People wonder why I don't just move out of the house.

I have thought about that, but I don't have a job that pays enough money to actually pay bills.  I can't even afford rent with what I make from freelancing.   I know it's pathetic, but people just don't respect writers unless they are in a huge market area and can get into television or something like that.

I've tried to find jobs, too.  I've put in so many applications at the mall.

There is a huge problem when people are biased against anybody with any disability.  I have scoliosis and  only now are they finding out the later problems a Boston brace can have on a person.  That's what I had to wear.  I can't walk for long distances or stand for a long time.  Because of this, I sometimes use a transport wheelchair.

People look at me like I'm helpless a lot of times when I use it when that is the furthest thing from the truth.  It's an aid to help me.  I could technically move without it, but not as well.  I'd be sore and out of breath.  I'd have to stop after a little bit of walking, the slow down, and it would probably be about after every three steps.

People don't hire me.  Even before I had my transport wheelchair, people didn't hire me because they said I was "overqualified" (which is a stupid word and gives me a blog topic for tomorrow.

So, I do freelance work.

I'd like to find the time for a few days to stop writing for a bit so I can take some time to writer and gather information and prepare an application for a magazine.  I really want to do two things:  work for that magazine and be in the MFA program at McNeese.  (I tried poetry at first - program was full - things came up with my Daddy's health - more stuff came up - I've been writing more fiction lately, so I'd like to try to get an application for the fiction - then if I don't get that, I'd try for poetry again.)

Anyway, my sister, my mom, and I all help each other in ways, too.  Since I don't make enough money to pay for a place on my own, I can easily live at home (which we all own outright - no payments need to be made on the house at all).

My mom gets SSI and payments from  my Daddy's life insurance policy.  My sister gets SSI.  My mom pays most of the bills.  Briana pays for the "at  home entertainment," meaning cable, internet, phone (ours is a bundle) and the cell phone.   (She has been paying my credit card bills as instead of me because then I pay other weekly expenses she used to pay like groceries).

My mom's money cover utilities.

I do all the budgets because I found out that my mom can't handle hers as she was always overdrawn and Briana and I were always scrambling to help her find how to make it so her bank account wasn't overdrawn.

Briana was already horrible with money and I've been trying to teach her.

Yes, my mom did make it some years before me, but honestly, not much.  She lived with her parents.  She got married to my Daddy (never lived on her own).  My Daddy did the bills and things were fine.  When my Daddy got sick and she started doing the bills, we had tons of problems.

Then, she got worse and we found out just recently that it was the Paxil.

However, she still doesn't make much sense.  She can't drive because it is dangerous because of her low blood pressure.  She's passed out at the steering wheel of the car at least three times.  My sister can't drive.

With my mom's low blood pressure, she would not make it on her own.  She'd fall and she'd hurt herself and that would be it.