Shakespearean Pie References

This version should be better than the last version of my doing this.

Hopefully, the video embeds when I do this.

If it didn't embed, here's the link to the video.
Shakespearean Pie

The song is not in the order of events that they happened in the play. It is a parody song of Don McLean's American Pie. It is very, funny, though! I liked the song before I read Hamlet and now I love it even more!
Song Lyrics	Comments
A long, long time ago I can still remember How, alas, poor Yorick's jokes drew groans He'd dance and sing and kiss my hand Like Elsinore was Neverland But then he went and joined the Skull and Bones	All of this verse is from Act 5, Scene 1, when Hamlet remembers Yorick.
And now, Horatio, I get shivers With every line the ghost delivers	This refers to Act 1, Scene 5, when King Hamlet's ghost speaks to Prince Hamlet.
All the Globe has been dark	Famous theater where many of Shakespeare's plays were staged.
'Cause something rots in Denmark	End of Act 1, Scene 4 when Marcellus comments on what the "meaning" of the ghost appearing might be.
I can't recall a thing as weird As when dear old Daddy reappeared To say that he'd been poisoned-eared The day King Hamlet died	This verse refers to Act 1, Scene 5, when King Hamlet's ghost appears to Prince Hamlet to say that Claudius poured poison in his ear to kill him and that he wans't bitten by a poisonous snake.
So To be or to choose not to be? That's the question I'm digestin' in my soliloquy And when fortune aims its slings and arrows at me Tell me how I'm gonna live through Act III?	This refers to Hamlet's famous soliloquy in Act 3, Scene I.
Answer, please, iambically	The play Hamlet is written in unrhymed iambic pentameter.
Did you like Shakespeare in Love? And did you rewind for scansion of Gwyneth with her wardrobe gone?	This is just silly and about the movie Shakespeare in Love and the nude scenes with Gwyneth Paltrow.
Now, do you believe in English Lit?	Since Shakespeare was British, he is in English Literature.
Is brevity the soul of wit?	Act 2, Scene 2 when Polonius says that he will get straight to saying what he needs to say, yet still with a lot of words!
If so then why's this bloody play so long?	Hamlet is Shakespeare's longest play
Well, I know this role has real cachet For each Branagh and Olivier And Mel Gibson draws blood nice	Kenneth Branagh, Laurence Olivier, and Mel Gibson all played Hamlet is movie versions of Hamlet.
Man, I dig that Passion of Christ!	Mel Gibson directed The Passion of the Christ.
I was a young, great Dane in British schools	Hamlet wasn't actually in a British school. He went to Wittenberg in Germany, and then stayed when Gertrude and Claudius asked him to stay in Denmark.
With my pet Ophelia and a dad who rules	Ophelia was Hamlet's "girlfriend" and his dad was king.
But I knew we'd been played for fools The day King Hamlet died	Again, because King Hamlet was not bitten by a snake.
So here's the question: To be or choose rather to be Suicidal or to idle apathetically, Or IS volition all it's cracked up to be If "to die, to sleep, to dream" is lovely? Please explain the question to me	This refers to Hamlet's famous soliloquy in Act 3, Scene I.
Less than two months since the obit ran	This could even say one month, since Gertrude married Claudius less than a month after King Hamlet died.
And Lord knows, frailty, thy name's woman: My dumbass uncle wears Dad's ring	Act 1, Scene 2 when Hamlet talks about remember his mother with his father and how she has married his uncle.
So I set the stage for a royal sting What a script! I thought, The play's the thing Where I'll catch the conscience of the king	Act 2, Scene 2 where Hamlet has the actors stage a play about what Claudius did.
Oh, and while the king enjoyed the show The players showed him whack his bro The king stomped off and cried	Act 3, Scene 2 when Hamlet's play The Mousetrap is staged, Claudius isn't happy, so he leaves.
O. J. yelled Homicide!	Silliness because O.J. Simpson and the possibility that he murdered Nicole Brown Simpson.
So Let's Make a Deal, Queen Mother, who Is behind curtain number two? How now, a rat? I sliced him through The day Polonius died	In Act 3, Scene 4 when Gertrude talks to Hamlet and has Polonius hide behind the arras [a wall hanging, thus a "curtain,"] and Hamlet cries out, "How now, a rat?" and stabs Polonius as he stabs through the arras. The phrase "What's behind curtain number two?" comes from the game show Let's Make a Deal.
I was thinking: To be or to go with Plan B? Is it nobler just to soldier on Shakespeareanly Or fly off to the undiscovered country? Thus my conscience makes a coward of me	This refers to Hamlet's famous soliloquy in Act 3, Scene I.
Get me to a fun nunnery	In Act 3, Scene 1, Hamlet tells Ophelia to "get thee to a nunnery," and while we think of this as a convent, while it could be, in Elizabethan English, "nunnery" was slang for a brothel.
Hanky panky? Nope, Ophelia's cranky	Act 3, Scene 2 when Hamlet is talking to Ophelia and asks, "Lady, shall I lie in your lap?" and the conversation that follows.
Could she be ticked that I nailed that Yankee?	Hamlet kills Polonius in Act 3, Scene 4.
Or maybe 'cause I knifed her dad?	In Act 5, Scene 2, Hamlet stabs Claudius with a poisoned sword.
She shouted Foul! in her wrath: You'll never tread on my primrose path!	Act 1, Scene 3 when Ophelia is talking to her brother, Laertes.
Guess my joke 'bout "country matters" made her mad	This is referring to Hamlet asking, "Do you think I meant "country matters?" This means he was asking Ophelia if she thought he meant having sex.
Now, the nymph went nutso north-northwest Went 'n' took a swim completely dressed She sank just like a ship	This refers to Act 4, Scene 5 when Ophelia goes mad and drowns herself.
So - here's the moral: skinny-dip	This is referring to the fact that Ophelia was completely clothed, but is dealing with it in a silly way.
Poor Laertes missed his tour de France	In Act 1, Scene 2, Claudius gives Laertes permission to go back to France and then in Act 4, Scene 5, Laertes comes back from France to have the sword fight with Hamlet.
But, merde, this ain't no cheap romance Ask Guildenstern and Rosencrantz The day Ophelia died	Guildenstern and Rosencrantz are characters in Hamlet that are told to spy on Hamlet by Gertrude and Claudius. Of course, this is again referring to Ophelia's drowning in Act 4,Scene 5.
And I was thinking... To be or to other-than-be? That's the question - screw depression - death sounds painless to me	This refers to Hamlet's famous soliloquy in Act 3, Scene I. [Also, just to mention every time that I hear the line "death sounds painless to me," I think of the M*A*S*H theme song Suicide is Painless.]
This too too solid flesh should melt melt like brie	Act 1, Scene 2 when Hamlet says, "Oh, that this too, too sullied flesh would melt . . ."
And resolve into a fondue for me	And at the end of the previous line, when Hamlet says "resolve itself into a dew."
Serve it with some crumpets and tea	Silliness since brie could be served with crumpets and tea, which is a tradition with many British people.
Oh, and there we were all in one place Equipped with poison, swords, and Mace With Fortune there to shape our ends So come on - fence me nimble, fence me quick	This refers the swordfight between Hamlet and Laertes in Act 5,Scene 2.
Don't tase me bro with your tainted prick Or bet your royal ass we're foiled again	"Don't tase me bro" refers to what a University of Florida student said to an officer when he was at a John Kerry Rally in 2007. The other is from Act 5, Scene 2 when the swordfight between Hamlet and Laertes takes place.
So Laertes and I both got poked	Act 5, Scene 2 when the swordfight between Hamlet and Laertes takes place.
Mom drank some Chinese lead-based Coke	Act 5, Scene 2 when the swordfight between Hamlet and Laertes takes place, Gertrude accidently drinks the cup of wine with poison it. The "Chinese Lead Based Coke" refers to lead being found in Coca Cola can paint in 2006 and also that many toys and other items produced in China tend to have lead in the paint.
The king was S.O.L.	Act 5, Scene 2 when the swordfight between Hamlet and Laertes takes place and then Hamlet stabs Claudius.
Thus ends his sworded tale.	Act 5, Scene 2 when the swordfight between Hamlet and Laertes takes place and almost everybody dies due to the poison in some way.
I said, My name ees Hamlet Junior, guy You keeled my dad; prepare to die (Yep, I stole that from The Princess Bride) The day King Claudius died	Act 5, Scene 2 when the swordfight between Hamlet and Laertes takes place.
Here's the question: To be or choose alternately? That's the question I'm processin' in Scene I of Act III To end these shocks or bear 'em heart-achingly,	This refers to Hamlet's famous soliloquy in Act 3, Scene I.
Quoting Sonnet Number 73? (That one's too depressing for me)	A reference to Shakespeare's Sonnet 73.
I met a girl named Juliet And her boyfriend, whose name I forget (What's in a name, man, anyway?)	Silliness with the wrong play; this one is Romeo and Juliet.
I led Othello to his death	Silliness with the wrong play; this one is Othello.
And made life a bitch for King Macbeth	Silliness with the wrong play; this one is Macbeth.
Till the Bard said, Dude, you're in a different play	Being in the wrong plays is finally acknowledged.
So meanwhile back at Elsinore	Elsinore is the castle where Hamlet and family lived.
A bunch of guys come to mop the floor It's Fortinbras's legions I guess we're now Norwegians	End of Act 5, Scene 2 where Fortinbras walks in after the sword fight and everybody involved is dead.
And the three co-stars I riled most: Laertes, Mom, and King Claudi-os Went off to hang with Daddy's ghost	(Act 5, Scene 2 when Gertrude accidentally drank the poisoned wine and then Hamlet killed Laertes and Claudius.
The day Prince Hamlet died	Act 5,Scene 2 when Hamlet committed suicide by drinking the poisoned wine.
I see dead people...	This line is stolen from The Sixth Sense.
To be or choose oppositely? Are we tougher if we suffer indefatigably Or take up arms against a turbulent sea Of the troubles fortune's slinging at me?	This refers to Hamlet's famous soliloquy in Act 3, Scene I.
Screw it - let's go watch some TV	This is just silly.
We were thinking: To be or to not freaking be That's the question we're obsessin' 'bout interminably	This refers to Hamlet's famous soliloquy in Act 3, Scene I
But as for us, the answer's clear: NOT TO BE Caught in THIS Shakespearean tragedy	By the end of the play, Polonius, Ophelia, Gertrude, Claudius, Hamlet, Rosencrantz, and Guildenstern are all dead.
[Horatio:] Good-night, sweet prince.	This is a line from Act 5, Scene 2 when Hamlet tells Horatio that the poison is killing him. I am not sure what movie this line came from if it did. Perhaps it is Robocop as I can't seem to find that one, but I can tell that it's not from The Big Lebowski.
[Hamlet:] I'm not quite dead...	This line is stolen from Monty Python and the Holy Grail when Concorde says it to Launcelot in Scene 27.

If you're wondering, here's "Suicide in Painless." There are definitely influences from Hamlet in that song, too! There is one very obvious one and there are others. Hopefully it embeds, but if it doesn't, I'll give the link aftwards.
Hopefully, embedded:

Link to "Suicide is Painless."
Suicide in Painless

Not Quite Piano Man

Of course, after what has happened today, my prayers are with all the people who were in Boston. It's been an emotionally difficult day once that happened. However, with trying to keep it a bit happier, Briana and I decided to "rewrite" "Piano Man" with misheard lyrics. We replaced the real lyrics with misheard ones and this is the song we now have: It's five o'clock on a Saturday Irregular crowd shuffles in There's an old man sitting next to me Makin' love to his erotic Aunt Jen. He says, "Son, can you play me a melody I'm not really sure how it goes But it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete When I wore a young woman's clothes." La la la, did dee da-a La la, did dee da-a da dum Sing us a song, of the Yellow Man Sing us a song tonight Well, we're all in the mood for a melody And you've got us feelin' alright Now John at the bar is a friend of mine He gets me my drinks for free And he's quick with a joke or to light up your smoke But there's someplace that he'd rather be He says, "Bill, I believe this is killing me." As the smile ran away from his face "Well I'm sure that I could be a movie star If I could get out of this place" La la la, did dee da-a La la, did dee da-a da dum And the waitress is practicing politics As the businessmen slowly explode Yes, they're sharing a drink they call loneliness But it's better than being alone Sing us a song from the Meadow Lands Sing us a song tonight Well we're all in the mood for a melody And you got a spirit, that's right. Now Paul is a realistic novelist Who never had time for a wife And he's talkin' with Davy, who's still in the Navy And probably will be polite It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday And the manager gives me a smile 'Cause he knows that it's me they've been comin' to see To forget about life for a while And the piano, it sounds like a carnivore And the night owl sounds like a beer And they play the guitar and put bread in my jar And say, "Man, what a hue to one ear!" La la la, did dee da-a La la, did dee da-a da dum Sing us a song you're a Chinese man Sing us a song tonight Well we're all in the mood for a melody And you've got a spinet, all right.

Rankin/Bass Plotholes

I watched P. Cottontail tonight. It is one of the Rankin/Bass holiday specials (like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer). While it is cute, there is definitely a huge plot hole in the show (despite all the other odd things that aren't explained – which really don't matter).

Anyway, the Colonel who is the Chief Easter Bunny is going to be retiring and he picks Peter Cottontail to be the next Chief Easter Bunny. A rabbit named Irontail (because a kid once ran over his tail and now he wears a fake tail that is made of iron [one of the many odd things that don't really matter for the show]) brings the April Valley (it's where the rabbits live) constitution where it says that the next Chief Easter Bunny is the one that delivers the most eggs.

Since Peter Cottontail isn't responsible, he holds a party and he doesn't go to bed on time. He had set his alarm clock, but Ironside sabotages it (there's a chicken on it and he gives the chicken magic corn flavored bubble gum that keeps it from making any noise).

Peter sleeps all day. Irontail is only able to give away one egg as almost nobody wanted an egg from him. However, Irontail wins because Peter didn't deliver any eggs due to sleeping all day.

So, Peter finds Sassafrass (who I guess plants all of April Valley) and he has this vehicle that is basically a time machine and it goes to the different holidays. Peter travels with a caterpillar named Antoine. Somehow Irontail sabotaged the time machine.

It skips over Easter and it first lands on Mother's Day. Nobody wants eggs on Mother's Day.

It then goes to the Fourth of July. Peter repaints the eggs. He lies to two boys and tells them that they are egg shaped grenades. The boys take the entire basket. They bring the basket back complaining that the eggs aren't grenades. However, they couldn't have known this without throwing one down on the hard ground. Thus, Peter had to give away one egg. This would make Peter and Irontail tied.

The next holiday is Halloween. Irontail tries to send a witch to scare Peter, but he isn't scared. Instead, he gives her an egg. That means that Peter has no successfully given away two eggs. He should win. However, the special keeps going. It goes through Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine's Day, and St. Patrick's Day.

Of course, there was a way Peter gave away the eggs. It goes back to Easter. Still, there was no reasons that he had to give away the entire basket of eggs. The show easily could've ended after Halloween because Peter should've won by then.

Bad Dreams, Bad Thoughts, and Good Reminders

Last night, I had this dream that my mom was standing behind me as I slept in bed.  She was insisting that she was still "here."  I was praying that I wouldn't have more dreams like that, but that's another one of them.

I miss my real Mama.  It's sad because Nancy (the pastor's wife from St. Michael's) knew her when we first started coming to St. Michael's.  She was nothing like what she was in the few months before she passed.  What Nancy didn't know is that she still wasn't healthy then.  She hadn't started aspirating her food and water when we first started coming.  I don't know when that started.  However, she was doing it lots because she would be in the car and I'd tell her that it's not normal to have water drip from your nose after drinking water.  However, my Mama wouldn't go do the doctor for that.

Al-Anon helps me to remember that I did not have any control over my Mama or over the doctors.  The doctors should've listened to me, but they didn't.  I couldn't control that.  I definitely couldn't control what my Mama chose to do, even though much of it was not good for her.

For some reason, while sitting in the Sowela library while waiting for a fiction reading (and being Briana's extra credit - yes, seriously, I was her extra credit for her "bringing" me), I suddenly had the feeling of how strange it is to come home and not have my Mama in the house, even though I've come through the house doors many times since she has passed.

We got some frozen yogurt from Sweet Frog today because they have a special that if you wear green (yesterday, today, tomorrow), you can fill up a 12oz cup with as much as you'd like and only pay $4 for it.  While I was eating my frozen yogurt with all kinds of chocolate candy and magic shell on it (I didn't need it, but it was fun to do), I happened to look over at the register when some people were buying their yogurt.  It was some numbers that have seemed quite significant in my life lately.  I know that God and Jesus are there when these things happen. It's not just a coincidence like some people say.

I had to write myself some reminders tonight.  Even though I know these things, I often have to remind myself of them and writing them helps.

The first things I wrote:
I continuously pray for my back to get better, too. I believe God still works in healings and miracles. However, I don't doubt Him if my back is not healed. After all, God says that there are strengths in weaknesses. God's plans is bigger than what I'd like . . . and I don't know God's plan. It could coincide with what I'd like, too.

The second thing I wrote:
Sometimes I feel really bad that I don't feel called to go on mission trips to other countries. However, God reminds me that if everybody were called to do such a thing that those things would never get done because nobody would be back home organizing the trips and helping get things done. I've always loved behind the scenes in theater, so it is certainly something that I love for helping others get to go on mission trips. I have to remind myself that God values every single person and a behind-the-scenes person is just as important as those out front. Just like a theater production would never get produced without set builder, stage managers, assistants, and directors, God needs those people for His missions, too.

Closure

Everybody needs closure.  However, how do you have closure when you never truly could have closure?  Besides missing my Mama at times (as I don't really know how many times I "lost" her before officially finally and truly losing her).

Closure is one of the hardest things for me right now.

When Mama was alive, I was having to look into an interdiction.  I didn't want to look into an interdiction.  The reason for doing this was to protect her.   However, she never saw that.  She only thought that I was trying to be mean to her.  Of course, that wasn't true.  I didn't want my Mama to hurt herself or to hurt others.

I had only talked about putting the house and car and annuity all in my name because if she had lived, it would've taken five years for her to get medicaid.  Then she could've received more help than she was currently getting with her medicare and office of group of benefits.

How can I have closure when I can't talk to my Mama in a rational way?  I never could talk to her in a rational way for many months before she passed.  She didn't make sense.  Her speech didn't make sense.  Her words didn't make sense.  Perhaps it was even years before she passed that she didn't make sense.

I know that even when my Daddy was alive that she was getting dumber.  It was awful.  She couldn't remember "shaved ice" and kept saying that it was ice that was "whirred up."  Sadly, Daddy said "whirred up," too.

She would say words for things that just didn't make sense.  I could never figure out how she still managed to do crossword puzzles and other puzzles in GAMES.  However, as I am typing this, Briana is telling me that she is the one who would often correct them.  Mama made a bunch of mistakes.

Mama would keep the really old GAMES magazines, which was crazy, however, I can remember looking at them and seeing that she was smart before she was on those antidepressants.

I tried to teach her how to do logic puzzles, but she never seemed to actually get the concept.  I think I found one or two of them done correctly for a little bit, but then things didn't make sense.

I wish I could talk to her again.  I wish I could find a way to just tell her how much I love and loved her.  I wish she could've known that I wanted her to be safe.

She wanted to get out of the nursing home and I can understand that.  It is sad and gray in that place.  I would've loved to bring her to church.  However, I couldn't physically handle her.  She would've fallen all over.  I couldn't have put her in the car.  I couldn't have taken her out of the car.  I don't know how I could've done anything.

I feel bad now that I didn't go up to the ER when she was taken there.  Briana was there, but I wasn't.  I know I needed to take care of myself because so tired and needed rest.  However, I didn't know it would've been the last time that she may have actually been able to talk to me.

I do remember the last time that she talked to me.  She wasn't making sense.  Billie (I think that was the worker's name) was in her room with me.  Mama was going on and on about the house and the car and talking about me trying to take them away from her.  This was right after she took communion because Pastor Cook came and gave it to her.