Shakespearean Pie References

This version should be better than the last version of my doing this.

Hopefully, the video embeds when I do this.

If it didn't embed, here's the link to the video.
Shakespearean Pie

The song is not in the order of events that they happened in the play. It is a parody song of Don McLean's American Pie. It is very, funny, though! I liked the song before I read Hamlet and now I love it even more!
Song Lyrics	Comments
A long, long time ago I can still remember How, alas, poor Yorick's jokes drew groans He'd dance and sing and kiss my hand Like Elsinore was Neverland But then he went and joined the Skull and Bones	All of this verse is from Act 5, Scene 1, when Hamlet remembers Yorick.
And now, Horatio, I get shivers With every line the ghost delivers	This refers to Act 1, Scene 5, when King Hamlet's ghost speaks to Prince Hamlet.
All the Globe has been dark	Famous theater where many of Shakespeare's plays were staged.
'Cause something rots in Denmark	End of Act 1, Scene 4 when Marcellus comments on what the "meaning" of the ghost appearing might be.
I can't recall a thing as weird As when dear old Daddy reappeared To say that he'd been poisoned-eared The day King Hamlet died	This verse refers to Act 1, Scene 5, when King Hamlet's ghost appears to Prince Hamlet to say that Claudius poured poison in his ear to kill him and that he wans't bitten by a poisonous snake.
So To be or to choose not to be? That's the question I'm digestin' in my soliloquy And when fortune aims its slings and arrows at me Tell me how I'm gonna live through Act III?	This refers to Hamlet's famous soliloquy in Act 3, Scene I.
Answer, please, iambically	The play Hamlet is written in unrhymed iambic pentameter.
Did you like Shakespeare in Love? And did you rewind for scansion of Gwyneth with her wardrobe gone?	This is just silly and about the movie Shakespeare in Love and the nude scenes with Gwyneth Paltrow.
Now, do you believe in English Lit?	Since Shakespeare was British, he is in English Literature.
Is brevity the soul of wit?	Act 2, Scene 2 when Polonius says that he will get straight to saying what he needs to say, yet still with a lot of words!
If so then why's this bloody play so long?	Hamlet is Shakespeare's longest play
Well, I know this role has real cachet For each Branagh and Olivier And Mel Gibson draws blood nice	Kenneth Branagh, Laurence Olivier, and Mel Gibson all played Hamlet is movie versions of Hamlet.
Man, I dig that Passion of Christ!	Mel Gibson directed The Passion of the Christ.
I was a young, great Dane in British schools	Hamlet wasn't actually in a British school. He went to Wittenberg in Germany, and then stayed when Gertrude and Claudius asked him to stay in Denmark.
With my pet Ophelia and a dad who rules	Ophelia was Hamlet's "girlfriend" and his dad was king.
But I knew we'd been played for fools The day King Hamlet died	Again, because King Hamlet was not bitten by a snake.
So here's the question: To be or choose rather to be Suicidal or to idle apathetically, Or IS volition all it's cracked up to be If "to die, to sleep, to dream" is lovely? Please explain the question to me	This refers to Hamlet's famous soliloquy in Act 3, Scene I.
Less than two months since the obit ran	This could even say one month, since Gertrude married Claudius less than a month after King Hamlet died.
And Lord knows, frailty, thy name's woman: My dumbass uncle wears Dad's ring	Act 1, Scene 2 when Hamlet talks about remember his mother with his father and how she has married his uncle.
So I set the stage for a royal sting What a script! I thought, The play's the thing Where I'll catch the conscience of the king	Act 2, Scene 2 where Hamlet has the actors stage a play about what Claudius did.
Oh, and while the king enjoyed the show The players showed him whack his bro The king stomped off and cried	Act 3, Scene 2 when Hamlet's play The Mousetrap is staged, Claudius isn't happy, so he leaves.
O. J. yelled Homicide!	Silliness because O.J. Simpson and the possibility that he murdered Nicole Brown Simpson.
So Let's Make a Deal, Queen Mother, who Is behind curtain number two? How now, a rat? I sliced him through The day Polonius died	In Act 3, Scene 4 when Gertrude talks to Hamlet and has Polonius hide behind the arras [a wall hanging, thus a "curtain,"] and Hamlet cries out, "How now, a rat?" and stabs Polonius as he stabs through the arras. The phrase "What's behind curtain number two?" comes from the game show Let's Make a Deal.
I was thinking: To be or to go with Plan B? Is it nobler just to soldier on Shakespeareanly Or fly off to the undiscovered country? Thus my conscience makes a coward of me	This refers to Hamlet's famous soliloquy in Act 3, Scene I.
Get me to a fun nunnery	In Act 3, Scene 1, Hamlet tells Ophelia to "get thee to a nunnery," and while we think of this as a convent, while it could be, in Elizabethan English, "nunnery" was slang for a brothel.
Hanky panky? Nope, Ophelia's cranky	Act 3, Scene 2 when Hamlet is talking to Ophelia and asks, "Lady, shall I lie in your lap?" and the conversation that follows.
Could she be ticked that I nailed that Yankee?	Hamlet kills Polonius in Act 3, Scene 4.
Or maybe 'cause I knifed her dad?	In Act 5, Scene 2, Hamlet stabs Claudius with a poisoned sword.
She shouted Foul! in her wrath: You'll never tread on my primrose path!	Act 1, Scene 3 when Ophelia is talking to her brother, Laertes.
Guess my joke 'bout "country matters" made her mad	This is referring to Hamlet asking, "Do you think I meant "country matters?" This means he was asking Ophelia if she thought he meant having sex.
Now, the nymph went nutso north-northwest Went 'n' took a swim completely dressed She sank just like a ship	This refers to Act 4, Scene 5 when Ophelia goes mad and drowns herself.
So - here's the moral: skinny-dip	This is referring to the fact that Ophelia was completely clothed, but is dealing with it in a silly way.
Poor Laertes missed his tour de France	In Act 1, Scene 2, Claudius gives Laertes permission to go back to France and then in Act 4, Scene 5, Laertes comes back from France to have the sword fight with Hamlet.
But, merde, this ain't no cheap romance Ask Guildenstern and Rosencrantz The day Ophelia died	Guildenstern and Rosencrantz are characters in Hamlet that are told to spy on Hamlet by Gertrude and Claudius. Of course, this is again referring to Ophelia's drowning in Act 4,Scene 5.
And I was thinking... To be or to other-than-be? That's the question - screw depression - death sounds painless to me	This refers to Hamlet's famous soliloquy in Act 3, Scene I. [Also, just to mention every time that I hear the line "death sounds painless to me," I think of the M*A*S*H theme song Suicide is Painless.]
This too too solid flesh should melt melt like brie	Act 1, Scene 2 when Hamlet says, "Oh, that this too, too sullied flesh would melt . . ."
And resolve into a fondue for me	And at the end of the previous line, when Hamlet says "resolve itself into a dew."
Serve it with some crumpets and tea	Silliness since brie could be served with crumpets and tea, which is a tradition with many British people.
Oh, and there we were all in one place Equipped with poison, swords, and Mace With Fortune there to shape our ends So come on - fence me nimble, fence me quick	This refers the swordfight between Hamlet and Laertes in Act 5,Scene 2.
Don't tase me bro with your tainted prick Or bet your royal ass we're foiled again	"Don't tase me bro" refers to what a University of Florida student said to an officer when he was at a John Kerry Rally in 2007. The other is from Act 5, Scene 2 when the swordfight between Hamlet and Laertes takes place.
So Laertes and I both got poked	Act 5, Scene 2 when the swordfight between Hamlet and Laertes takes place.
Mom drank some Chinese lead-based Coke	Act 5, Scene 2 when the swordfight between Hamlet and Laertes takes place, Gertrude accidently drinks the cup of wine with poison it. The "Chinese Lead Based Coke" refers to lead being found in Coca Cola can paint in 2006 and also that many toys and other items produced in China tend to have lead in the paint.
The king was S.O.L.	Act 5, Scene 2 when the swordfight between Hamlet and Laertes takes place and then Hamlet stabs Claudius.
Thus ends his sworded tale.	Act 5, Scene 2 when the swordfight between Hamlet and Laertes takes place and almost everybody dies due to the poison in some way.
I said, My name ees Hamlet Junior, guy You keeled my dad; prepare to die (Yep, I stole that from The Princess Bride) The day King Claudius died	Act 5, Scene 2 when the swordfight between Hamlet and Laertes takes place.
Here's the question: To be or choose alternately? That's the question I'm processin' in Scene I of Act III To end these shocks or bear 'em heart-achingly,	This refers to Hamlet's famous soliloquy in Act 3, Scene I.
Quoting Sonnet Number 73? (That one's too depressing for me)	A reference to Shakespeare's Sonnet 73.
I met a girl named Juliet And her boyfriend, whose name I forget (What's in a name, man, anyway?)	Silliness with the wrong play; this one is Romeo and Juliet.
I led Othello to his death	Silliness with the wrong play; this one is Othello.
And made life a bitch for King Macbeth	Silliness with the wrong play; this one is Macbeth.
Till the Bard said, Dude, you're in a different play	Being in the wrong plays is finally acknowledged.
So meanwhile back at Elsinore	Elsinore is the castle where Hamlet and family lived.
A bunch of guys come to mop the floor It's Fortinbras's legions I guess we're now Norwegians	End of Act 5, Scene 2 where Fortinbras walks in after the sword fight and everybody involved is dead.
And the three co-stars I riled most: Laertes, Mom, and King Claudi-os Went off to hang with Daddy's ghost	(Act 5, Scene 2 when Gertrude accidentally drank the poisoned wine and then Hamlet killed Laertes and Claudius.
The day Prince Hamlet died	Act 5,Scene 2 when Hamlet committed suicide by drinking the poisoned wine.
I see dead people...	This line is stolen from The Sixth Sense.
To be or choose oppositely? Are we tougher if we suffer indefatigably Or take up arms against a turbulent sea Of the troubles fortune's slinging at me?	This refers to Hamlet's famous soliloquy in Act 3, Scene I.
Screw it - let's go watch some TV	This is just silly.
We were thinking: To be or to not freaking be That's the question we're obsessin' 'bout interminably	This refers to Hamlet's famous soliloquy in Act 3, Scene I
But as for us, the answer's clear: NOT TO BE Caught in THIS Shakespearean tragedy	By the end of the play, Polonius, Ophelia, Gertrude, Claudius, Hamlet, Rosencrantz, and Guildenstern are all dead.
[Horatio:] Good-night, sweet prince.	This is a line from Act 5, Scene 2 when Hamlet tells Horatio that the poison is killing him. I am not sure what movie this line came from if it did. Perhaps it is Robocop as I can't seem to find that one, but I can tell that it's not from The Big Lebowski.
[Hamlet:] I'm not quite dead...	This line is stolen from Monty Python and the Holy Grail when Concorde says it to Launcelot in Scene 27.

If you're wondering, here's "Suicide in Painless." There are definitely influences from Hamlet in that song, too! There is one very obvious one and there are others. Hopefully it embeds, but if it doesn't, I'll give the link aftwards.
Hopefully, embedded:

Link to "Suicide is Painless."
Suicide in Painless