Is There a Dcotor in the House, er Internet?

I was going to try to write article today, but that didn't happen.

My grandpa tends to come by most days and see how things are going.  For awhile, even when my mom was getting bad, they were okay.  I could handle what was happening and just make sure she didn't do much.

However, in the past year, things have not been good.  She has seemed to decline rapidly in the past two to three months.

She goes to the ER, to our GP, to a neurologist (a pretty bad one as we don't like him and cant understand him and his ratings are also the lowest of all neurologists in Lake Charles!)

The only thing that these doctors have been able to tell us is that she has depression, low blood pressure, Asperger's, and neurological degeneration.  She also often has a bladder infection or a UTI (or are they one in the same?).

Now, it is no doubt that her low blood pressure doesn't help her keep her balance.  However, years age when my Daddy was alive, she tended to drink.  She would get drunk and then she'd fall down.  So, her falling mostly started when she got drunk and it later turned into all the time even when she was sober.  I can remember her falling a few times when my Daddy was alive, but nothing like she does now.

She has problems that they will not address.  The one thing that was addressed is what my sister and I always tell her.  She needs to exercise to keep her leg muscles strong as if she does not, her muscles will atrophy.

She has these "seizures."  I don't know what to call them, but that's what they seem to be.  She is unresponsive to everything around her and she shakes.  These seem to happen when she is sitting.

She falls and she has hit her head many times when she has fallen.  Of course, we care about her and the doctors have looked and they don't find anything.

She goes into these "episodes," where she doesn't really know what she is doing.  She will often spend money on things that are not needed.  She'll go out to get food from somewhere. (We didn't know that's what was happening until later).   She'll do things (like unplugging the phone or trying to talk to her dog) that she won't remember.   I've said that it is kind of like Sybil, if you've ever read that book.  However, when she's in one of these "episodes," it's not like another personality that will remember what happened.  It's just gone from her memory.

Every now and then she'll remember a little bit of something she did during one of these "episodes," but it'll be just a bit of stuff, and then if you ask her about it more, she'll change the subject.  It may be related to the topic, or it may just go to her saying, "While I'm thinking of it . . ."

Briana and I can't take care of her like she needs.  She is taller than Briana. She is heavier than me.  She fights and argues.  If we try to help her, she falls on top of us.

However, she doesn't wash up properly.  That's one of the hardest challenges.  How can we get our mom to showers and wash herself properly?  I keep telling her to let Briana help, but she doesn't let Briana help.  She says that she is capable of taking care of herself.

However, today, when she was in the ER at very first, they put a catheter in to get a urine sample.  Before that, though they had to take down her pants and her off brand depends underwear.  Then, they had to clean her vagina because feces was all over it!  Briana and I had no idea that she had a huge accident.   She didn't tell us about this.  She didn't get up out of the bed.

It would be nice to find some hospice care or a nursing home facility for her.

The thing is, we can't afford it!  My mom gets SSI.  My sister gets SSI.  I work.  We pay our bills with the three incomes.   We've been lucky at times that I've had money to make it so my mom's bank account is not overdrawn.

A nursing home is about $5,000 per month. If my mom lives 50 more years, that over three million dollars!  I don't know of any jobs that would even pay that much (plus probably $2,000 for the bills at home) even if they would hire me.

Do any doctors have any idea what could be happening?  We keep getting sent back home without a diagnosis.  How can she be having these problems and not having them show up on a CT scan or MRI?

We need some type of  diagnosis and we need some help.

S is for Shit

I'm sorry for being so graphic, but yes, S is for shit.  I can't hide how terrible my mother is.  She wants us to keep everything secret, but I can't keep everything secret.  She thinks that it is perfectly okay to hide all of her health problems.  She thinks that is okay that she never does what the doctors ask her to do.  She thinks it is okay to hide that the minute she stands up, she falls and can't get back up for over an hour.

My sister knows that at times she is stressful.  It doesn't help in the times that she is causing a lot of stress, but it helps to have her know it and that she knows that she needs to be responsible.

My mother, however, only yells at me.  Yesterday, she yelled that she wasn't a baby or wasn't an infant.  Truthfully, she is a baby or an infant.

She always falls.  Every day, she falls.  She can't get up for an hour after she falls.  It takes her over an hour just to get to the bathroom from where she currently has her room.  (We REALLY need to get our rooms switched!).    Then, we need to get grab bars put on the walls so she can hold them when she's going from her new room to the bathroom.

However, what I need first is help to get our rooms clean.  I know people can't do things at the drop of a hat.  I know that they need to get things organized.  I'm not expecting people to do things immediately or know what to do immediately.

All I know is that this is really difficult.

Oh, and why is S for shit?  That's how my day started.  Yep, my mother gets up and she is icky and dirty.  At least she wears the store brand depends.  However, even that doesn't keep her clean!  She had shit ALL OVER THE PLACE.  I am not joking about this at all.

I couldn't even use the front bathroom (the bathroom) and had to use the back bathroom (the backthroom). It was so disgusting that I could not even breathe when I went near the door.  Briana was good today and cleaned, but I knew why she was feeling so bad.

While we did need some groceries, I said I would take her to a place to eat that wasn't too expensive.  Taco Bell worked fine for us.

However, yesterday, I had to take my mother do the doctor.  He told her to exercise by standing and sitting, standing and sitting, standing and sitting.  She hasn't done that at all.   She also insists that she's always okay, but she's not.  She has Asperger's and a neurological degeneration.  She spends money that she doesn't have and she expects me or Briana to always be able to bail her out of debt.  We can't do this because we are paying bills and household expenses!

I wish I could afford to put her in a nursing home, but I can't afford that!  It's $5,000 a month to be able to put somebody in a nursing home!  If she manages to live for 50 more years, that's THREE MILLION DOLLARS.

Is the bathroom covered in shit normal?  Yes, it is!  It may not be daily, but it's constant.  She doesn't cleaned up after herself.  She has the toilet covered in shit.  She has the floor covered in shit.  She has the walls covered in shit.  She has the sink full of shit.  It is literally EVERYWHERE.   Being that she has to come through my room to get to the bathroom, it's all over my room, too!

There are myriad advantages for her to be in the room I'm currently in right now.  However, there are also myriad advantages for me to be in the room where she is.  She wants to know if I have an ulterior motive to being in that room.  It is good for me, but the thing is, if she can't be in a nursing home, it is best for her to be in the room that is currently mine.

In that room, I also need to get a direct line to the Internet, get the electrical outlet grounded, and get another direct cable line.  Other than that, the house needs to be cleaned and then some heavy furniture needs to be moved.

R is for Responsibility

I am honestly tired of having to be responsible for everybody and everything in this house.  My mom and my sister act like just because they are giving money to household bills, that makes the responsible.  It doesn't.  After all, the way they get money is from SSI.  They don't work to earn it.  They sit on their butts and don't have to do a thing.

What do they do when it comes to trash?  The simple thing, you'd think, would be to throw it away in a garbage can.  Do they ever do this? No, they don't.  Instead, they leave it on the floor and throw it all over the place. It is on desks and tables and chairs and the couch.

They don't even put their dirty laundry in the bathroom.  I have used my own money to go buy them hampers and they don't use them!  I am really tired of finding their dirty laundry all over the floors of this house.

Then, when it comes to feminine sanitary items (maxi pads and depends), they also don't throw those away.  Those are disgusting and all over the floor.  I can't think of a day I haven't come across one and had to put it in trash.

My mom and sister are idiots when it comes to the drain blocker to block hair from going in the drain.  They complain that it takes too long to drain the sink or the tub.  They take the drain blocker out from the drain and then the hair is in the water and goes in the drain!  They then blame me for the hair in the drain!  It needs to stay in the drain and be removed after the water drains.  It then needs to be pulled straight up and the hair needs to be thrown away.

Why can't they ever be clean?  Why can't they clean up after themselves?

As a creative person,  I don't mind a little bit of clutter.  I like a house to look like somebody lives in it.  However, how they keep the house is WAY TOO DIRTY.  It is like living with two hoarders!  How can I possibly even open the doors to the entrances of the house?

My mom and I really need to switch rooms, too.  She needs to be MUCH CLOSER to the bathroom.  We also need our plumbing fixed because of the toilets.  It seems if the toilet from the front bathroom is flushed, it backs up to the back bathroom (which Briana decided should be called the "backthroom.")

I know part of it is the Asperger's that they have, but it's still very bad.

My mom also has some type of neurological degeneration and then she also has very low blood pressure.  When she's dizzy, she won't get up and walk, so her muscles have definitely atrophied.  She is so weak that she takes a half hour just to get to the bathroom from where is room is right now.

I also have to keep track of all three of our finances since they have no idea how to take care of money!

Here are some articles about Asperger's:
A Mind Like a ViewMaster: Understanding How People with Asperger's Think
Jenny McCarthy, Holly Robinson Peete, and My Experience with Asperger's
Interview with Derek Bartholomaus, Creater of Jenny McCarthy Body Count